Should You Tell Your Spouse You Are Thinking of Divorce?
If you are considering divorce in California, you might not have told anyone about these plans. It is easy to internalize such feelings, and you might even feel guilty about reading this article. Many spouses consider “coming clean” and telling their husband or wife that they are thinking about a potential divorce at some point in the future. But is this really the right choice?
Why Telling Your Spouse About A Potential Divorce Could Backfire
While some spouses benefit from being open with each other, telling your spouse about a potential divorce could backfire. Once your spouse knows that you might file for divorce in the near future, they may take a wide range of actions – and some of these actions could be detrimental to you.
For starters, they might begin siphoning away funds from joint accounts and “putting their affairs in order.” This may include illegally concealing funds from you, and there are many ways spouses can do this in the modern era. Examples include offshore accounts, corporate schemes, and cryptocurrencies. Once you warn a spouse about your plans to get divorced, it may be very difficult to freeze these assets before they are gone forever.
In contrast, a divorce petition usually comes with various injunctions. Upon filing a petition for divorce in California, there is an Automatic Temporary Restraining Order (ATRO) that is enforceable upon service to the other party. These injunctions order preclude both spouses from selling, transferring, or otherwise wasting marital property. In other words, all marital assets are “frozen” by the courts until the divorce is finalized. If you mention the possibility of divorce without actually filing for divorce and serving the other spouse with the ATRO, none of these injunctions will protect you from potential financial losses.
Your Spouse Could Begin Strategizing With Their Lawyers
Once your spouse becomes aware of a potential future divorce, they may also begin strategizing with their own lawyers. They are not obligated to tell you about these meetings, and your spouse might be getting ready to implement a wide range of effective strategies the minute you file for divorce. They might also pre-emptively file for divorce first – before you have a chance to do so yourself. While it doesn’t really matter who files first in a no-fault state like California, they may strategically time their divorce filing to coincide with delayed bonuses, tax returns, and other financial transactions.
You Can Consult With a Divorce Attorney in California Without Any Commitments
Even if you are not sure whether you actually want to proceed with a divorce, you can still consult with a divorce lawyer in California. A conversation with a legal professional may help clarify points of confusion, making it easier to move forward with a sense of confidence. Most importantly, you are under no obligation to actually follow through with a divorce simply because you met with a divorce attorney. In fact, divorce lawyers are legally required to keep all conversations with their clients completely confidential – and they will never tell your spouse about these meetings. If you are ready to have a quick conversation about the possibility of divorce, consider reaching out to the Knez Law Group, LLC, or call us for a free consultation at 951-742-7681 today.
Matthew J. Knez graduated from the University of Redlands in California where he earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Creative Writing. He went on to pursue his Law Degree at the University of LaVerne, College of Law in Ontario, California. While pursuing his law degree he earned various awards, including CALI Award in Torts and he was on the Dean’s List. Mr. Knez was also a member of the Justice and Immigration Clinic where he worked with people seeking asylum into the United States from countries where they had experienced persecution or threat of persecution. Additionally, Mr. Knez was a member of Law Review where he was an Associate Editor and published a Law Review article on California family custody move-away cases.